No!

First of all – thank you everyone for all of your wonderful messages. I am sorry that I have not replied to them all. I have read them and it has been heartwarming to feel your love and concern.

Whisper’s sudden illness was a shock. He looked a bit stiff and uncomfortable yesterday morning, but he was an old man and he has been working all of his life. He needed regular chiropractor treatment to keep fit, so I was not too worried. He had looked worse before, so I expected that all he needed was to have his back adjusted.

I took the boys for a morning walk and Whisper was running with the others.

I went to work at 10 am. All was well. When I came home at 3.30 pm, I found Whisper paralyzed from the waist and down. He could not get up and when he tried to move, he was dragging his hind part after him.

I went directly to the vet and he was put to sleep in the back of my car. He kept licking my hand until he stopped breathing.

Whisper had an embolus in the spinal cord 3½ years ago. He was in an animal hospital for days. It took a long time, a lot of hard work and physiotherapy for him to regain control over his body. Nobody back then thought he would survive and when he did no one thought he would be able to dance again. He did that too.

It was probably another embolus yesterday, but he was 12½ years old this time. His body was too old to recover one more time and it would not have been fair to put him through so much pain again. It was time for him to go.

Both Hero and Beat have reacted quite strongly.

Hero loved Whisper. He would greet Whisper before he would greet me, when they had been away from each other. Hero spent all afternoon yesterday looking for Whisper in the places where he would usually be and when he couldn’t find him, he came to me for comfort.

Beat has been very cuddly too. He does not seem to be looking for Whisper, but he is behaving differently.

Biscuit is being Biscuit. If Biscuit is ok and feeling well, he sees no reason to be upset. After all Biscuit is the center of Biscuit’s universe. It really is quite nice that at least one of us are behaving as usual and Biscuit’s happiness does make me feel a little better.

I think ‘disbelief’ is the word that covers how I feel best. It all happened so suddenly and it was so unexpected. I have had the worst headache and I feel so sick. Last night was very long. I can’t quite understand that I will never see him again, never dance with him again and never hold his beautiful head in my hands and look into his eyes again.

Sweet Dreams my special boy…